Feelings and thoughts are different, but they are tied together very closely. We react to everything with both feelings and thoughts. Feelings are emotions and sensations, and they are different from thoughts, beliefs, convictions, and interpretations. Learning how to express feelings is important.
First, it’s imperative to express your feelings clearly and specifically. What kind of upset are you feeling? Are you mad, afraid, sad, or hurt? Second, you also need to specify the degree of the feelings to avoid being misunderstood. Angry and annoyed show completely different degrees of feelings. Finally, it’s important to explain what behavior or event causes you to feel the way you do. This is to prevent the other person to react too negatively to your statement.
There are both positive and negative feelings, and it’s okay to have ‘mixed’ feelings.
- POSITIVE: loved, idolized, liked, alive, respected, enthusiastic, happy, thrilled, courageous, proud, concerned, optimistic, delighted, liked, affectionate, fond, excited, pleased, glad, inspired, great, relaxed, keen, approved, interested, fine…
- NEGATIVE: upset, reluctant, discontented, tired, indifferent, unhappy, bored, confused, helpless, annoyed, worried, disgusted, bitter, embarrassed, mad, frightened, anxious, angry, hurt, miserable, lonely, terrified, afraid, humiliated, furious, exhausted..
- POSITIVE: loved, idolized, liked, alive, respected, enthusiastic, happy, thrilled, courageous, proud, concerned, optimistic, delighted, liked, affectionate, fond, excited, pleased, glad, inspired, great, relaxed, keen, approved, interested, fine…
- NEGATIVE: upset, reluctant, discontented, tired, indifferent, unhappy, bored, confused, helpless, annoyed, worried, disgusted, bitter, embarrassed, mad, frightened, anxious, angry, hurt, miserable, lonely, terrified, afraid, humiliated, furious, exhausted..
There are two ways to express your feelings.
1. I feel/felt + adjectives.
Examples: “I feel so blessed to have you with me.” “I felt so embarrassed when you told your friends about our fight.”
2. I am/was + adjectives.
Examples: “I’m furious with him right now.” “I was devastated when my father died.”
1. I feel/felt + adjectives.
Examples: “I feel so blessed to have you with me.” “I felt so embarrassed when you told your friends about our fight.”
2. I am/was + adjectives.
Examples: “I’m furious with him right now.” “I was devastated when my father died.”
To ask someone how they feel, we use the same verbs.
- How do you feel about the situation? / How did you feel last week?
- Are you mad at him? / Were you excited when you got the scholarship?
- How do you feel about the situation? / How did you feel last week?
- Are you mad at him? / Were you excited when you got the scholarship?
Common Mistake
The expression “I feel that…” is actually used for beliefs and opinions. It is not used for showing or expressing feelings.
Wrong: I feel that I’m scared.
Right: I feel scared. / I’m scared.
The expression “I feel that…” is actually used for beliefs and opinions. It is not used for showing or expressing feelings.
Wrong: I feel that I’m scared.
Right: I feel scared. / I’m scared.
Wrong: I felt that I was delighted at the prospect of a new job.
Right: I felt delighted… / I was delighted…
Right: I felt delighted… / I was delighted…
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